Clubs and Teams
by QueenElizabeth3andCourtJester
Summary: Follow all the Harry Potter characters as they read books and play sports, and really anything that doesn't have to do with the real books. Warning: This story is completely random. Expect the unexpected.


Chapter 1: Team Peeta or Team Gale

A/N: Well, I already told all my What Should Have Been readers of this story. I really don't care if anyone reads this cause I doubt they will. It's very random. The kinda stuff I love.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters mentioned, some go to J.K. Rowling and in this chapter some go to Suzanne Collins.

"I finished reading the Hunger Games." Harry says at their book club meeting.

"What Team are you on? I'm on Team Peeta." Hermione announces, having finished the books weeks ago.

Ron glares at the book.

"Yes Harry, what Team are you on?" Voldemort also asks, closing the book after reading the last sentence.

"I'm on Team Gale." Harry declares.

"Yuck. He's a jerk. I'm Team Peeta." Voldemort says, glaring daggers at Harry.

"Yeah. Well Peeta'a a weakling!" Harry exclaims, getting up from his seat.

"Gale's a good-for-nothing idiot!" Voldemort retorts angrily.

"Boys boys. Let us not fight. It is only a book!" Dumbledore interrupts.

"JUST A BOOK!" Harry and Voldemort yell in shock.

"If it's just a book, than you obviously wouldn't mind telling us what Team _your_ on hmm?" Voldemort suggests.

"I suppose so. Alright. I'm on Team Snow." Dumbledore admits.

"Um Professor, there is no Team Snow." Hermione points out.

"Well," says Dumbledore, clapping his hands together. "He has the best hair-style. If he grew a beard, we could be twins!"

"Now that we know that Dumbledore's side is idiotic, I can deal with you Potter." Voldemort sneers.

"Now now. You can both switch sides and we can start the rebellion to make Team Snow real!" Dumbledore's eyes brighten at the idea.

"Shut up Dumbledore! Just shut up!" Voldemort orders, walking up to Dumbledore and effortlessly ripping off his beard.

"My beard. Now I look just like Snow! We can be twins now! Thank you Tom!" Dumbledore says ecstatic, running off doing some kind of jig.

"I thought we discussed this when we began this book club! You are not to call me Tom!" Voldemort yells at Dumbledore's retreating, jigging, figure.

"Come on Peeta lover! Best thing you can do is bake some bread!" Harry sneers.

"Oh. Going by names are we Potter? Well at least Peeta isn't name ad after a wind storm!" Voldemort retorts.

"Gale doesn't need a girl to save his life!"

"At least Peeta _has_ a girl in his life!"

"Ohhhh. You did _not _just go there!"

"Yeah I did! Gale is a worthless dunderhead!"

"Say that again." Harry instigates.

"_Gale is a worthless dunderhead_." Voldemort repeats.

"Fine! _Levicorpus_!"

Voldemort was now hanging from his ankle in mid-air, his robes falling upwards to reveal white underwear covered in rubber duckies in Darth Vadar masks.

Harry ignores his sick choice in underwear, choosing to yell at him. "SAY IT AGAIN!"

"Gale is a worthless dunderhead." Voldemort states dryly, wishing the stupid boy would get to the point.

"That's it!" Harry exclaims, beginning to throw spells at each other.

"I WILL NEVER ADMIT DEFEAT!" They yell.

"_AVADA KADAVRA_!" They also both yell.

They each get hit at the same time, falling to the ground.

Dumbledore comes back in then, wearing an _I Am Snow _T-shirt.

"Hm, what happened here?" Dumbledore asks, pulling out a President Snow doll.

"Oh, they got into a fight and killed each other." Ron says dryly.

"Oh well, that's unfortunate. I've gotta go, Districts to rule." Dumbledore says, not sounding that she really thought it was unfortunate.

"Wait a second, that voice was way too deep for Dumbledore." Hermione realizes.

"You don't think-nah." They both says, picking up Catching Fire and beginning to read it.

A/N: If you don't want to review, you don't have to. I'm going for laughs, not reviews. I mean, some people really act like this. It was kind of a way to show you this and I'm sorry, but it was quite funny when Voldy ripped off Dumbles beard. This isn't a one-shot, more is coming. Next, they're reading Twilight. This time it's going to be Voldemort, Harry, Remus and Sirius. I hoped you enjoyed this! BTW I'm Team Peeta. :)


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